Parenting is a difficult task. If we’re not careful, we might get too focused on one component and neglect the others.
I frequently observe parents who are intensively focused on discipline, and I’m referring to the traditional definition of the word here, which refers to behavior modification. We might get caught up in the details of “What do I do when…” or “How do I get my youngster to…” and lose sight of the broader picture.
The truth is that there are numerous factors that shape our children’s conduct that are more significant than the tactics and approaches we employ to change their behavior.
In no particular order, here are ten factors that are more vital than whatever approach you select.
The most powerful effect on our children is the bond we have with them. Our partnership serves as a model for how they should treat one another for the rest of their life. We have established a benchmark if we have a healthy relationship built on respect, empathy, and compassion. They’ll come to anticipate this kind of relationship and won’t be satisfied with anything less. If, on the other hand, our relationship is built on manipulation, compulsion, and control, you can see where I’m going with this.
Furthermore, our impact stems from a positive relationship. Children who are linked to an adult are more inclined to listen to and cooperate with them. To put it another way, if we establish trust and open communication with them while they are young, they will come to us when they are older. Our bond helps to wire healthy brains, and our reactions (which act as miniature mirrors) set the tone for how they respond to us.
2. Your perspective
Who do you see when you look at your child? Do you see the advantages or disadvantages? How you think about them has an impact on how you treat them. The way you feel emotionally and physically during the day is also influenced by your ideas. “He’s in the doldrums.” “will drive you to be on the lookout for bad things, to focus on them, and to strive to remedy them on a regular basis.
Try to replace negative ideas with positive ones, such as “He is curious and entertaining!”” Instead of seeing misbehavior as something that has to be squashed right away, try to see it as a sign that you need help. Correction isn’t required as as frequently as you may believe.
3. Your relationship with your significant other
Your children are observing and taking notes. The way you and your spouse interact creates a precedent. Parents who are happy have happy children. Read this article to learn how your marriage affects your children.
“A solid, loving connection between the two of you is the cornerstone of a good family.” The single most essential thing you can do for your children is to do everything you can to ensure that you and your spouse have the finest possible relationship. They will likely mirror you and get along with each other and their friends if they witness the two of you getting along and supporting one other. Every ounce of effort you put into your relationship will be tenfold returned to you via your children.”
4. The atmosphere of your home
The atmosphere of your house is created by the combination of all of the aforementioned factors.
You probably have a pleasant atmosphere in your house if you have caring and close connections. The whole environment will suffer if there is disagreement between you and your spouse, or between you and your child, or between your child and your other child. Have you ever visited someone’s house and sensed an unfavorable vibe?
You want your house to be a safe refuge, a welcoming, warm, and caring environment for all family members. “The greatest method to keep children at home is to make the home setting pleasant—and let the air out of the tires,” Dorothy Parker stated. However, you do not have to let the air out until they are 16 years old.
5. How you relate to others
How do you treat a teller at a bank, a retail clerk, or a telemarketer? What about your in-laws and parents? They are looking at you as an example. “Setting an example is not just the major method of influencing another, it is the only one,” Albert Einstein famously remarked.
Are you active in your neighborhood? Volunteering, supporting a local charity, visiting church, and giving goods may all teach vital lessons in addition to establishing an example. Seeing the broader picture, and how their actions may affect many people, will instill responsibility and reinforce positive values in them.
Your child will be affected by whether you select private school, public school, homeschooling, or unschooling. Make your decision with caution. Peers have a significant impact on youngsters, but if our connection is healthy, our effect will be even greater.
8. Your cup
Is it nearly full? You must look for yourself so that you may look after them. You are more tolerant, sympathetic, and energetic when your cup is full. Furthermore, a youngster who sees his parents respecting themselves learns to respect himself. Re-add yourself to your to-do list.
9. Media. Television. Video games. Social media
They’re always delivering messages to your children. Now, I allow my kids watch TV and play video games, so I’m not advocating for a total ban on media, but be mindful of what your children are learning from what they’re seeing. My kid once said something completely out of character for him, as if it came straight from a cartoon character. I recognized where he got it, and we discussed the contrasts between cartoon realm and real life. I’m just glad they haven’t joined Facebook yet!
10. Basic needs
Adequate diet, sleep, and exercise are not only important for your child’s health, but they also have an impact on his or her behavior. Dr. Sears discusses nutrition in this site. Read this article for more information: Sleep Better for Better Behavior. Finally, exercise teaches youngsters to focus their attention, control their anger, and develop their motor abilities.