If parents are able to instill these qualities in the baby, it will greatly help him in later life – both in his career and in relationships with others.
Psychologists have long noticed that those who have been instilled with certain qualities from childhood (for example, the ability to defend personal boundaries) in the future grow up more successful. And in all spheres of life – from career to family.
Psychotherapist Amy Morin, host of the podcast on correct thinking and author of the bestseller “13 Habits of Strong-Willed People”, named the main qualities that are tedious to develop in a child so that he grows up successful. And she told her parents how to do it.
Self-sufficiency and self-worth
If your child gets frustrated that their friend has received a higher rating, they are essentially giving the other person power over their emotions.
But there are children who feel great regardless of the success or failure of other people.
What to do: Together with the child, come up with phrases that they can repeat to themselves. Use words that show that they themselves are responsible for how they think, feel, and behave — regardless of how those around them act.
This will help drown out the negative voices in their head. The most effective phrases are short and easy to remember:
- “I’m acting confidently.”
- “I’m good enough.”
- “I choose to be happy today.”
Whether it’s moving to a new school, moving, or even not being unable to go somewhere during the lockdown, a child may miss their usual way of life. But psychologically strong children understand that change is always for the better, even if at first it does not seem so.
What to do: When your child encounters major changes, ask him to tell in detail about his feelings. And most importantly, help them find and identify the right words to describe it: for example, sad, happy, frustrated, nervous, impatient.
Ability to say “no”
It’s often difficult for children to say no because it can seem awkward and strange. However, having the courage to do this more often, they will find that over time it becomes easier for them. This reduces the stress associated with having to do something they don’t want to do.
What to do: When your child is faced with the choice of saying “yes” or “no,” ask him what he will have to sacrifice if he says yes. Then ask, “Are you ready to actually do this?”
Help them have the courage to say no by coming up with polite ways to turn someone down:
- “No, I can’t.” (You don’t always need to explain the reason.)
- “Thank you very much for the invitation, but I have other plans.”
- “I need to think about it.”
- “I don’t want to do it today, but thank you.”
Admitting your mistakes
Children are often tempted to cover up their missteps because they don’t want to be scolded. Maybe they forgot to do their homework or accidentally broke an expensive vase.
But admitting your mistakes helps build character. In addition, after the child apologizes, he finds a way in the future to avoid repeating the same mistake.
What to do: If your child makes a mistake, remind them that they can make a difference so that it doesn’t happen again. Talk together about what needs to be done.
Joy for someone else’s success
It’s normal for kids to be jealous, such as when their friends get a new toy. Encourage your child to praise people when they do something well. Mentally strong children support their peers.
What to do: Ask your child to make a list of traits they admire. Maybe he wants to be more confident, like his friend, or cheerful, like his classmate. And ask them to act as if they already possess these qualities.
Perseverance in achieving the goal
When it takes a lot of time and effort to achieve a goal, even an adult has a desire to give up. But psychologically strong people, regardless of age, will continue to move forward.
What to do: Ask your child to write a letter filled with words of kindness and support to themselves. It could be a long or short and simple note that says, “I know things aren’t easy, but you can do it.” And every time they are tempted to give up, remind him to re-read the letter. This will motivate them to move forward.
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