Harmful tips: 5 psychological attitudes in which it is time to stop believing

Today, psychology has turned into a fashionable hobby, and information on the topic has become available to the masses and used for other purposes. We talk about harmful advice that should not be followed.

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In the age of active development of technology, it is worth remembering that not all the information we receive is reliable – it is necessary to carefully study the source and the facts offered by it, especially when it comes to your health, physical or mental. Despite the fact that certified psychologists do not get tired of repeating that only specialists with specialized education and having the necessary knowledge base and practical experience can provide qualified assistance, more and more people appear in the online and offline space who open their practice, having only a few books on psychology read in their arsenal, and, worst of all, they not only discuss their problems with clients but also give advice that can be disastrous. Together with psychologist Anna Sukhova, we will consider the most harmful of them.

Always and blame only yourself for everything

Convincing a person that only he himself is to blame for all his troubles is a very simple way to “explain” to the patient the nature of his problems without delving into the essence of the issue. Of course, you are an adult and are responsible for your life, but in reality, not everything depends only on us, and this truth must be understood. Any person needs support and a sober look from the outside, without emotions and personal involvement in the situation, and if you experience only guilt at the consultation, there is a reason to think, why does your therapist need it? It is possible that in this way he just wants to get rid of you faster, earning money.

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The same applies to similar statements of your friends, allegedly wanting to help you – in the event that you hear this phrase and do not get any practical options for solving the problem, try to interrupt communication and seek qualified help.

Start over

Popular advice that can often be heard from coaches who promise quick results after radical changes, or acquaintances who, not knowing the details of your life, recommend that you quit everything and start from scratch. According to such advisers, before you lived incorrectly – you chose the wrong profession and place of work, fell in love with the wrong person, and therefore the only way out of the situation can only be radical changes.

Of course, in this case, it is worth thinking – such a method of solving the problem is extreme, but it seems the easiest and fastest way to cope with difficulties. However, it is worth remembering the consequences and the fact that an outsider cannot be sure that this step will make your life easier, and, moreover, the responsibility for this decision will fall solely on you, and therefore analyze your difficulties in life and think about whether “starting from the beginning” is really the only right decision.

Remember that no one owes anyone anything.

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When you are constantly praised and told only what you want to hear, you begin to feel more confident and come to the conclusion that you are really superhuman, and your opinion is the only true one. The problem is that such advice is incompatible with the social life of the individual – we all live in society and interact with him, receiving from this a certain benefit (whether it is the warmth of human communication or material goods), and therefore do not have the opportunity to ignore it, following the popular attitude “no one owes anyone anything.”

It is important to understand that in case you do not consider yourself proper to do something for the environment, you must be prepared for the fact that the environment will not do anything for you – this is a law that even the most experienced specialist cannot change.

Change your appearance to change your life

Very often on the Internet, you can meet people who, for example, recommend that the victim of domestic violence “start looking after yourself” so that the husband is again fascinated by her beauty and stops beating her daily in front of the child.

Of course, such an example is quite radical, but it accurately describes the mechanism of action of such recommendations – as a rule, a person who advises changing appearance to solve any mental problems prefers to treat the symptoms rather than fight the causes of the disease.

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It is worth remembering that in the event that you have any psychological problems, only competent work on yourself will help you get rid of them. At the same time, you can certainly change something in the appearance if you want to, but this step will be only a small fragment of the overall picture that can cheer you up before a serious battle.

“Live” stressful situations to combat fear

During various kinds of training or personal consultations, people can get the following recommendation: to get rid of a certain fear or even a phobia, you need to meet it face to face, that is, intentionally create a situation that you avoid.

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However, this advice is extremely dangerous – it may turn out that your emotional lability is so great that you are simply contraindicated to follow such stress recommendations since the consequences can be completely unpredictable (up to the development of acute psychosis and other serious disorders). Remember that an adequate specialist will always offer a more flexible option that will help you smoothly and progressively solve your problem and consolidate the result for a long time.

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