For some people, the holiday season is complicated, between toxic relatives, forced cohabitation, and painful memories.
The end of the year holidays is to enjoy and be with family however, for some people the season becomes a nightmare.
Not everyone sees Christmas or New Year as times of peace, love, gifts, and delicious food. There are those who know that meeting involves fights, uncomfortable questions, and undesirable moments that only cause discomfort.
Surveys conducted by Relationships Australia reveal that Christmas is considered one of the 6 most stressful events of the year (along with divorce, worldliness, and a job change) and a lot has to do with interaction with family!
While it’s common to hear advice like “get out of there” or “cut ties” with toxic people, it’s not always possible. So the best thing you can do is learn to cope with the moment, intoning your own balance and setting personal boundaries.
Remind yourself that you are strong and that nothing and no one can break you down
Maybe it’s cheesy but remember that others will have pdoer on you as soon as you allow it. Don’t give them the power to make you less or submit to what they think you should be. Before you lose control, take a deep breath and repeat affirmations like, “I’m enough just the way I am, .” I accept and love the person I am and who I am becoming,” “I have skills and talents that are totally unique to me.”
When you’re questioned about your singleness, don’t take it personally.
This is perhaps one of the most uncomfortable and annoying questions that many of us face but it is very valid (and necessary) to put a stop to them. First, stop thinking it’s an attack on yourself and try to understand what made this other person tell you something so humiliating. More than any word you can make up, show how surprised you are that that person made the comment to you. Sometimes the person who is questioning you doesn’t do it on purpose and when they see your reaction, they will feel embarrassed and apologize.
Let them enter your terms
Sometimes there is no choice but to live and be kind to these people. Ezsto does not mean that you let them into your life or that they have interference in your actions and thoughts. If your toxic family member is intrusive, it’s time to regain your privacy. Don’t reveal information when you don’t feel comfortable doing so, even if you’re reproached. If you can, avoid having those toxic relatives on social media This will allow you to decide how much and how much you want them to know about your life.
Focus on the people you love and love you back
Not everyone around you is toxic. There are people who love you and will be willing to give you all the love and support you deserve. Try to be around those people as long as you can. Family is not just blood and you can be fortunate to have people you can call “cousins” or “siblings” you identify with and know will be there for you. Stop giving importance to those who steal your peace of mind and fill yourself with the loving energy of those who value you
Have an escape plan
You don’t have to stay all night living together if you don’t feel comfortable. Keep your options open so you can leave when the time is right for you. Do your best to avoid relying on someone you don’t know if they will support you with your exit when the situation becomes untenable. If you’re attending with your partner or someone specific, consider having a keyword or nonverbal cue to let them know it’s time to leave.
Be clear about what you deserve
When we grow up with toxic family members, it can be hard to remember that we deserve relationships that are loving. It’s time to move in a direction that brings you closer to the things you deserve in life.
Sharing blood does not make coexistence automatically easy or that they understand each other. The truth is that no matter what, you should not allow anyone, not even your family, to threaten your emotional health.
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