Sooner or later, we all have to deal with a toxic person in our life. Most of them appear in the most gentle way and loaded with good intentions, and it is not until after a while when we manage to unmask them. How could we define the personality and temperament of a toxic person? Perhaps their most distinctive traits are that they are so narcissistic, egomaniacal, or dishonest.
The truth is that they adopt different appearances and are great at tricking others to always get away with it. And they never acknowledge their mistakes or the perverse nature of what they think or what they do. What to do if you sense that the friend or lover you just met is actually a toxic person with whom you should not spend more time than necessary?
Judith Orloff, an American psychiatrist, has recently published a book entitled ‘The Empath’s Survival Guide’ in which she delves into these types of personalities. In an article in ‘The New York Post’, he divides toxic people into five groups that we will now break down to identify them and also provides advice on how to deal with them or, ultimately, find the best way to expel them from your life.
“The Narcissistic Mother”
“She sees you as a mirror of herself, and she becomes cold and punishing when you do something she disapproves of,” Orloff says. “She’s obsessed with herself and always will be, so it’s best to lower your expectations.” That the first, and the second: “limit conversations with that person so as not to let yourself be manipulated and stay calm at all costs: if he feels inferior, he will go to the jugular.” When to say enough and cut off all relationships with her? “If it becomes verbally or physically abusive.” Let’s hope you don’t have to deal with this type of personality.
“The whining of cold water”
In this case, Orloff uses the typical co-worker who does not stop lamenting to describe this type of toxic personality (the cold water is for the common area of the office in which employees usually get together to drink water). “The one who complains about everything and whose cries end up affecting your mood and productivity,” he says. The best way to stop this constant monster is to avoid any situation in which the same scene is reproduced. “Say you have to leave kindly,” advises the expert. “Turn to settle the conversation,” and in case it goes further, “talk to your boss or human resources manager.”
“The self-absorbed boss”
Inspired by the character of Michael Scott from the series ‘The Office’, they represent that kind of extremely self-centered person who does not stitch without thread to be the center of attention at all times. The best thing to deal with them, as before, is avoidance. If you are having a hard time dealing with this type of person or boss, it is best to go looking for another job or, failing that, a new friend.
The one who always says “poor me”
“They constantly make bad decisions and when you try to give them good advice, they ignore you,” Orloff says. “They’re people who don’t like to remedy things, so stop offering them.” In this sense, you should restrict the moments with them so that they do not suck the negativity they profess. “And in case it goes further if your friendship has become much more negative than positive, it is best to change the company,” he concludes.
That person is always pointing at you and making value judgments about you or what you do. And on the other hand, it is unable to take responsibility for its actions. “The key is not to be provoked,” recommends the expert. “If things get ugly, ask them not to talk to you that way and impose distance.” In case it does not cease, you must cut the link when their lies begin to take their toll on you and change the opinion that others have about you.