What is emotional immaturity?
Emotionally immature parents have a difficult time understanding others. They have complete control over their children’s lives and make them feel as though they are never good enough. These parents also believe that their children are to blame for their shortcomings. They don’t pay attention to their children’s needs since they are preoccupied with their own.
Parents like this are erratic. They have a tendency to have temper tantrums and exaggerate situations. They are unable to take criticism and refuse to forgive. These parents are eager to pass judgment on others yet unable to accept criticism.
They are also overly reliant on their children to conduct their errands. Such parents require their children’s undivided attention at all times. They have poor self-esteem, are self-centered, and demand things that are unreasonable.
Emotionally mature parents, on the other hand, are capable of dealing with their circumstances. They learn from their mistakes and accept criticism. These parents have a positive outlook and are self-assured.
What it’s like having emotionally immature parents
1. You feel emotionally lonely around them
Emotional loneliness is a result of growing up with EI parents. Despite the fact that your parent was physically present, you may have felt alone emotionally. Having a familial link with your EI parent is not the same as having an emotionally secure parent-child relationship. EI parents enjoy telling their children what to do, but they are hesitant to provide emotional support. When you’re sick, your EI parents will take wonderful care of you, but they won’t know what to do with damaged feelings or shattered hearts. As a result, while attempting to calm a worried kid, they may appear fake and uncomfortable.
2. They don’t know how to express their feelings.
Emotionally immature parents are uncomfortable when it comes to expressing strong feelings. A child needs to feel that they are loved, yet such parents aren’t particularly adept at expressing affection. If emotions were not something to be expressed or discussed, it might be due to the way they were reared. Later in life, if they wish to connect with their child on a deeper emotional level, they grow scared of seeming vulnerable or weak.
3. They act childish.
It may be difficult to determine how emotionally immature parents feel since they do not know how to communicate their feelings in a healthy way. Nonetheless, they may expect their children to understand what emotions they are feeling and what they require. And if the youngster is unaware of this, they may become unhappy and blame the child for not getting what they desired.
4. Their behavior is unstable.
Other people or external events might readily affect emotionally immature parents and their feelings. Their mood, as well as how they interact with their child, may fluctuate often. They may be highly active in their child’s life for a period of time before becoming unexpectedly indifferent and reticent.
5. They don’t respect your boundaries or individuality
EI parents don’t grasp the importance of setting limits. They believe that setting limits implies rejection, implying that you don’t care about them enough to grant them unrestricted access to your life. When you urge them to respect your privacy, they appear surprised, angry, or wounded. Only when you allow them to interrupt you at any time do they feel appreciated. EI parents want privileged and domineering roles in which they are not required to respect the boundaries of others. EI parents don’t value your uniqueness because they don’t believe it is necessary.
6. You lose your emotional autonomy and mental freedom
EI parents ignore your inner realm of ideas and feelings because they perceive you as an extension of themselves. Instead, they assert that they alone have the authority to determine whether your sentiments are justified or not. They don’t value your emotional autonomy, independence, or right to express yourself. They respond with astonishment and disdain if you hold views that upset them, because your thinking should mirror theirs. Even in the privacy of your own thoughts, you are not free to ponder some things. (“Don’t even consider it!”) Your ideas and feelings are categorized as positive or negative based on their level of comfort.
7. Things Go Smoothly Only When They’re The Center Of Attention
People with emotional immaturity are caught in a petulant, toddler-like state of emotional stagnation where they can’t function until they feel fully safe and loved. That involves keeping all eyes on them at all times, showering them with affection, and meeting their requests. If they can’t be the center of attention, they’ll dance around until they can; this might include upstaging, pouting, tantrums, dramatics, and who knows what else.