Every parent wishes happiness to his child, but even the most loving moms and dads make mistakes in parenting. How to raise a really happy child who in the future would not know the phrase “all problems come from childhood.”
“Our children will always have something to tell their therapist,” joke modern mothers who understand that many of a person’s problems come from his childhood. So how to raise a child who will not have claims to his parents? The expert told which moms and dads will grow up happy children.
You don’t sacrifice your career for your children.
Do not feel guilty for having to go to work and send your child to kindergarten early. According to research from Harvard University, children whose mom and dad work became as happy as those who spent more time with their parents at home. According to the same study, daughters of working mothers are more likely to occupy managerial positions and have higher incomes. And the sons, whose mother worked, are more actively involved in household chores and take care of family members.
Instead of mental anguish about a career, it is better to come up with a joint hobby with the child: reading books, making crafts, hiking, building from Lego, etc.
Do not forget to be interested in the opinion of the child and be sure to exchange impressions. In 2018, researchers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Harvard, and the University of Pennsylvania found that sharing with children helps to develop and strengthen one of the most important social skills in toddlers aged 4-6 years – communication.
You’re set a good example.
Children learn from the example of their parents: from early childhood, they copy their habits and actions. Research from Cardiff University in the UK shows that from about the age of two, children begin to observe the behavior of their parents. Therefore, if you want the child to become a harmonious and happy person, start with yourself. Let this be another incentive for you to improve yourself.
You can tell the child as much as you like that sitting on the phone is harmful and it is better to go in for sports, but he will follow the advice only when the parents themselves put down gadgets and go for a run. Become more interesting for the child “TikTok” and computer games.© Getty Images
You often hug
The child begins to get acquainted with the world with the help of the language of touch. Through bodily contact with his mother, he feels love and protection. According to research from the University of Arizona School of Communication, emotional tactile connection enhances happiness and improves a person’s overall health. A lack leads to feelings of loneliness, depression, stress, and even a decrease in immunity.
Therefore, tactile contact is important at any age. Do not worry if at about 3 years old the child begins to refuse hugs. It is ok. Thus, the baby learns and forms the boundaries between himself and others.
You accept the child as he is.
Parents often compare the child with other children, make excessive demands on him, and try to realize their dreams in this way. As a result, criticism, twitching, remaking to standards and their own ideas lead to a sense of shame, guilt, and insecurity in themselves and in their abilities.
Therefore, support in the child what he is good at and praise more often. Praise gives self-belief, motivation and helps to establish a trusting relationship with the child. But for a successful upbringing, praise must be correct. In her research, Stanford University professor Carol Dweck found that there is a difference between praise for effort and praise for ability.
If you praise the child for his intelligence, then next time he will be afraid to choose a difficult task and stop at the one that he knows in advance how to solve. If you focus on the concentration, diligence with which the child performed the task, then this will be an incentive for new feats.
It is important to try to choose in this way and teachers who will work with the child. It is desirable that tutors do not have an evaluation system so that they look at the result first. This allows the child to maintain interest in the lessons and further motivation for the course of classes.
© RichVintage Photography/Getty Images/E+ child memory development
You teach your child to understand emotions
Developed emotional intelligence directly affects the feeling of happiness. Therefore, from an early age, teach the child to recognize and express their emotions. One of the worst mistakes a parent can make is to suppress their emotions.
Do not be afraid to share with the kids your real feelings and emotions. If you come from work tired and your child demands attention, don’t ignore it. Better tell us what you feel. The explanation should be age-appropriate. For example, a child of 3-4 years old can say: “It was a difficult day, but I’m glad that I’m home with you now.” Older children can already be told about a large amount of work and share some details of a stressful day.
You do not protect the child from communication with peers
No matter how good it is at home with relatives and friends, for comprehensive development and happy childhood, he needs communication with peers. On the playground, in the kindergarten, in the circle, the baby learns to interact with others and follow social rules. The sooner the child begins to communicate with other children, the easier it will be for him to get acquainted with people in the future and adapt to a new team.
According to scientists at Pennsylvania State University and Duke University, success in adulthood directly depends on the level of social skills acquired in childhood.
You always support the child
The unconditional love of parents in childhood is the basis for the formation of a harmonious personality that respects oneself and others. Cultivate self-confidence in your child. Even if success is not achieved or becomes insignificant, the confidence that parents will always understand and support will remain for life.
There are times when self-realization occurs in spite of. In this case, the lack of support of family members becomes a motivation for success. So the child is trying to prove the importance in the eyes of relatives and earn their approval and love. But even with a favorable result, children’s resentments remain for life and negatively affect self-esteem and relationships.
It is much more effective and safer to give children support and support from birth. As shown by the results of a study by the Chulalongkorn University of Thailand, Aix-Marseille University, and the Paris School of Economics, a happy childhood has a positive impact on the whole future life.