In the education of your children, you must take care at all times of both the words and the tone used. There are things that when listening to them can affect their personality and their self-esteem so it is not recommended that they be said.
Learn from your brother
Comparisons are hateful and there is nothing worse for a child’s self-esteem than telling them that theirs is worse than someone else’s. Especially if it is a brother, his thing would be to focus it in a motivational way instead of sinking the one who does it worse, being able to generate harmful feelings of envy. These types of phrases will make you feel inferior and less valued. By not having a strongly developed personality, such a thing can make you suffer a lot and it is likely that over time you will present self-esteem problems. The important thing is that through understanding you can help your children to enhance their skills and strengthen their weaknesses.
I already do it that you don’t know
You have to let your children make mistakes to learn by erring. The normal thing is that if a child does not achieve the expected results, he turns to his parents for help. What you shouldn’t do is ask him to do something simply because it can go wrong, as he will lose interest in trying things out. In this way, your child could believe that he is not able to generate a feeling of helplessness that could affect both self-esteem and self-confidence. The words used to say things are very important. It is recommended that you do not rate your child for their actions. You can teach him what is right or what is wrong, but not make him believe that he is clumsy or bad since he could subsequently record that pattern performing the actions with evil.
Don’t cry for nonsense
Underestimating the reason why your child shows his feeling of sadness through crying could affect him when it comes to expressing himself. A child should feel free to express their emotions in any environment. If you do not inhibit him, he will learn over time both to manage and to express his emotions in a more controlled way. This does not mean that you pamper your child everything, but it does mean that you leave space for him to let go of his tantrums.
You’re going to fall and hurt yourself
This is one of the most repeated phrases by parents since they are afraid that their children may hurt themselves, but it prevents them from continuing to develop their abilities since they develop fear. If you overprotect your children based on your beliefs, they can generate symptoms of both insecurity and anxiety. All children are like sponges, they learn by imitation, so they absorb what they see and what their parents transmit to them.
The kings are not going to come or if you do not eat what there is you will not have dessert
Another of the most common actions of parents is to threaten children with the things they like to get them to do what they should. It is common to resort to this technique so that children fulfill their responsibilities. Using both rewards and punishments, as is done in the training of animals, is undoubtedly a mistake that many parents comment.
Even if you are right and your child must do what you tell him, the ways in this context are very important. Using blackmail for it may give you short-term results, but it’s really not an effective technique. With children, we must find a way for them to collaborate freely by getting involved in the tasks assigned to them. To do this, you must show them the reward that is obtained from performing each action.
Give so-and-so a kiss
Forcing children to show affection with people they may have just met is not good. It is normal that you want to instill in them with education the typical greetings, but it is they who must adapt little by little to learning by imitation. As in the case of adults, it should be a voluntary act in which each child can choose whether to greet or how they wish to do so. It is common that with the passage of time they adopt the same pattern that their parents follow, but when they are very young they do not tend to give two kisses. They may say hello in words, throwing a kiss, with their hands, or even clashing their five. If you insist that your children perform a certain greeting you can generate in them even the opposite, a feeling of rejection.
If you don’t listen to me you stay here and I leave
When you want your children to abide by your rules you should not threaten them with leaving, since the fear of abandonment is one of the causes that can cause the most suffering to a child. One of the most common scenes in which this phrase is repeated is in a park. When a child is playing with other children or on the swings he will not see the time to leave, but you have to try to convince him in a reasonable way. Your children should understand that just as there is time to have fun you also have to do other things.
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