Useful Tips From A Lazy Psychologist Mom For All Parents

Anna Bykova is a slacker of a mother. And she’s not embarrassed to acknowledge it. Furthermore, the psychologist and author of many best-selling books is proud of this “title” since she feels it allows her children to grow more self-sufficient. Anna, on the other hand, does not imply sitting on the couch all day, but rather a desire to not have to do everything herself. To enhance a 7-year-fine old’s motor skills, it’s sometimes preferable to be “lazy” and let them do the dishes. It’s alright if you have to wipe the floor dry and wash the dishes again later when the youngster isn’t watching.

Place your youngster to sleep.

Your child may have trouble falling asleep because they’ve established the practice of sobbing themselves to sleep, they view sleep as a punishment, or they place an excessive value on falling asleep on time as a result of their parents’ expectations.

I’d want to share some of my personal findings and approaches from my time working in a kindergarten classroom with you.

  • Therapy that focuses on the body. I took a seat next to the child’s bed in a chair. I carefully fixed their legs with one hand on their thigh and the other on their shoulder. Then I swayed in a very delicate manner. This method helps individuals to relax their muscles while also calming their nervous system.
  • Breathing via the joints. I attempted to imitate the child’s breathing by placing my hands on their body. I eventually began to take deeper breaths. Then I swung the kid around a little. The youngsters immediately fell asleep thanks to calm deep breathing and flicking gestures.
  • It’s a tedious read. When I was reading a novel, I would insert sentences like “And then the bear said… I’ll sit on the stump… Eat my pie… Lie on the grass… Take a nap…” into the text. It’s crucial to read slowly on exhale, pausing sometimes to keep your breath calm and progressively slow down your speaking. You’ll notice a slowing in your listeners’ respiration if you do it correctly.

Make a meal for a fussy eater

Food is a fundamental human requirement. Consider the situation when you’ve “forgotten” to feed a newborn. They’ll let you know they’re hungry with a loud cry, and they won’t stop until you feed them. The youngster is the greatest judge of when and how much to eat.

  • Remember the psychology behind offering the kid a variety of colored foods: the most essential thing is not to attempt to convince them. Allow your youngster to get ravenous. When good emotions are connected with food, the appetite improves.
  • Allowing your child to participate in the cooking process, as well as the chance to test new ingredients and select items in the store, will ensure that you never have to worry about poor eating habits again.
  • And if you find yourself giving your child more food than they require, pause for a moment and ask yourself, “Why do I do that?” Is it due to historical stereotypes? Is it true that we should never leave anything on the table? Or am I worried that the youngster may go hungry again?” The child is not their own worst enemy, and they have a deep bond with their body. When they’re hungry, they’ll eat. Force-feeding a youngster isn’t the finest method to show affection to a child.

Temper outbursts in your child can be avoided.

  • Hide anything from the youngster that they can’t touch.
  • Show the youngster a new bright object or make a promise to do something much more fun. I usually have a bottle of bubbles, a balloon that I can blow up in an emergency, or tiny and inexpensive toys with me.
  • Scissors are a risky toy for a child, but if they insist on touching them, it’s acceptable to allow them – as long as mom supervises the procedure. A youngster who has too many taboos becomes irritated and their growth is hampered.
  • “Of sure, we’ll do it,” says the narrator, “but we’ll have to wait till later.” “Yes, but…” or “Yes, but…” “Of sure, we’ll play,” they say, “but let’s get some sleep first.”
  • If you need to interrupt a game to feed your child, start with a toy. Don’t say, “Leave your building set and let’s go eat,” if you want your little “builder” to stop constructing and eat lunch. Simply announce that the construction crew is taking a break for lunch.
  • If you provide a different option, the youngster will behave the way you desire. “Will you pick up your toy troops or vehicles first?” you could inquire. Unfortunately, this strategy does not last long. The kid can and will most likely refuse to do both acts beyond a certain age.

Take control of your child’s temper outbursts.

If you haven’t been successful in preventing a tantrum, you can try the following:

  • Make your child’s focus shift to something else.
  • Make a soothing habit for yourself. The majority of families, on average, establish their own soothing pattern over time. It might be a rhyme, a story, or a game. Mom can softly blow on the child’s eyes to dry their tears, for example. You may also offer the youngster some “magic” water to help them relax.
  • Simply disregard this conduct. If you’ve exhausted all other options and there are no health hazards (such as an epileptic or asthmatic seizure), you can either leave the kid alone to cry for a time or simply ignore their screams. Instead of scolding or isolating your child, express your feelings: “I suppose you simply want to weep right now… We’ll [offer to do something fun] when you’re finished.”

Teach your youngster how to use the toilet.

How? It’s a methodical, step-by-step procedure that necessitates patience.

  • The potty should always be in the same location so that a youngster can see it. Never push a youngster to use the toilet.
  • Don’t forget to praise your child every time they sit on the potty in the start of the training. It doesn’t matter if they truly dropped something in the potty or if the youngster did you a favor and merely sat on this strange item with their trousers off at this point.
  • You may also try putting a teddy bear on the potty and telling fairy stories about characters that like to wear dry pants. That’s all there is to it! It’s simply a matter of time until the rest happens.

From the book An Independent Child or How to Become “A Lazy” Mother by Anna Bykova.

Encourage your child’s appetite by giving him or her something to eat.

  • Allowing the child to have snacks between meals is not a good idea if they aren’t eating anything during meals.
  • Avoid goods that include artificial flavors or taste enhancers. Healthy meals will taste stale after the youngster has become accustomed to them.
  • Reduce the amount of sweets given to the youngster.
  • Increase your walking frequency and encourage your youngster to be more active. This will have a beneficial effect on appetite.

Allow your youngster to become accustomed to sleeping alone.

  • Make a sign for a peaceful night’s sleep. It might be a toy that the youngster hugs before going to sleep. And they’ll have no trouble falling asleep anywhere, not just in their own bed.
  • Change to a new bed as a couple. In the beginning, if the kid has been sleeping with their parents, the mother can sleep with them in their new bed. This manner, the kid will become accustomed to the new bed beside their mother, and will ultimately be able to fall asleep on their own.
  • Boost motivation. It’s critical to discover other sources of motivation if personal drive isn’t strong enough. You and your kid may choose new bed sheets or other furnishings together: ceiling stars that illuminate in the dark, a charming nightlight, and a dream catcher are all good choices.

Every mother has her own parenting tricks up her sleeve. Leave a comment about how you taught your child to use the potty. Perhaps you have your own suggestions for putting your child to bed or feeding a finicky eater.

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